DWT

Welcome to the 21st century. From the makers of Driving Under the Influence (DUI) and Driving While Intoxicated (DWI), we proudly present: Driving While Texting (DWT).

The Washington Post reports that Virginia's General Assembly "is considering a pair of bills that would ban texting while driving a car, bicycle, motorcycle, moped or even an electric wheelchair."

If this sounds absurd, consider the fact that six states have already considered anti-texting laws in 2007, with New Jersey, Washington and the city of Phoenix passing resolutions outlawing the practice.

I'm no fan of texting drivers, but this trend in lawmaking sounds more like a post-modern fad than an actual public service. After all, have you seen some of the things people do while driving? Just because it's technically not illegal to eat with chopsticks while operating your vehicle at 70MPH, that doesn't mean it's a good idea.

So remember, if you're walking down the sidewalk and see someone in an electric wheelchair trying to multitask with their cellphone, don't be afraid to make a citizen's arrest. Together, we can keep the streets safe from efficiency.