"Dude, quit Twittering my Facebook!"

A friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) is a bit of a Twitterhead. While this term may not yet sound familiar, I can guarantee that it will soon enter the lexicon of many frustrated Facebook users, for it is a clear violation of Rule #1 of Netiquette Decorum: Thou Shalt Not Spam.

Twitter describes itself as "a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?" Random thoughts are the norm on Twitter, as registered users jot down the little things throughout their day that would otherwise go unremembered. Good enough.

The problem is that some genius created a Facebook application that syndicates the RSS feed automatically to all of the offending Twitterhead's friends.

Facebook provides a similar function with its "status updates," which allow users to post short messages to their friends. These tend to be along the lines of "Frank is partying in SF tonight!" or "Jenn is pretending to be busy at work," etc. These messages are typically somewhat interesting, humorous, and relevant (particularly if you are actually friends with the person who is posting). And--most importantly--these messages usually have a shelf life of at least one day, sometimes more.

But what happens when these Twittering RSS feeds go awry? Say, for instance, that I don't want an update every 45 minutes to learn more about my friend's thoughts about his cat, or approximate blood level of caffeine, or length of facial stubble on Monday as opposed to Tuesday. Or, suppose I don't want to spend time deciphering the meaning of the following entry: "XXXXX is twittering: Hello 1:31 am. You look a bit worn around the edges. have you shaved lately? here, let me make you some overpowered coffee."

Yesterday alone, there were 14 entries. The day before, 22. And the worst part is that I, as a Facebook user, cannot opt out of this Twittering madness. You either have to opt out of status updates altogether, or just suck it up and deal.

But I ask you this: what if everyone started synching their Twitter and Facebook accounts? It would be utter chaos--that's what. And the post-modern gentleman never adopts manners that cannot be universalized.

My wikipedia entry on Twitterheads will be forthcoming. In the meantime, I will just have to fight the urge to say, "Dude, quit Twittering my Facebook!"

-Youareyou