Leaving the Building

You've seen it on your Facebook news feed:

"Robin has left the group 'I Love My Pet.'"
"Ryan has removed 'the Rolling Stones' from his music."
And most potent: the broken heart with the line "Jason is now single."

And so it is that the casual adding and dropping of groups, interests, and activities becomes a statement of great and frequently unwarranted significance. You find yourself wondering, What happened to Robin's pet? The change in relationship status is particularly tricky and poses more fundamental questions: Is it meant to be a statement, announcing to everyone that you're back on the market?

I had an uncomfortable IM conversation with a friend who apparently noticed when my relationship status went from "It's Complicated" to "Single." He tiptoed around the issues for a bit: "I'm sorry if this is a privacy invasion...It's none of my business...I was just wondering..." When I realized where he was headed, I admitted it was a statement of sorts.
"I used 'It's Complicated' to avoid unwanted attention," I told him. "Then I met this guy I'm interested in and I wanted to advertise my availability."

But I had wanted it to be more subtle! After I made the status change I "hid" that news because I wanted him to check on my profile and see the change. I learned my lesson: when you "hide" your changes, it only becomes invisible on your own profile. Your news is still broadcast publicly.

Facebook allows you to set the type of news you broadcast. I propose something more nuanced: we should be allowed to explain ourselves.

Robin still loves her pet; she just wanted to clean up her group list.

- Sansserif